let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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