This girl is more easily done than said...
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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