Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
