that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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