no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Randomize
