I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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