One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
