dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
