He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize