Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
