Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
