can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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