I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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