i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
