Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
