Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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