Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I checked into jail on foursquare
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
