After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
