I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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