I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
