Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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