ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
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