She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize