Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
