# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
