not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
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