Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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