i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
