Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
