that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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