How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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