Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
