I need help removing her.
you would pick up someone in the library
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
