Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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