1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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