return my video game
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
