I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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