i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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