They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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