quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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