nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
