Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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