The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
