Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
