If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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