i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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