Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
