I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
