Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize