Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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