I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
