No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
