guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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