I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
