i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
The air was thick with penises
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
