i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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