That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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