Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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