Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize