i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize