I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
