I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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