Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
