Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize