Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
