Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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