Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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