I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you traded sex for a burrito?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
