Soap is not a condiment
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
