Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I came so hard my ears popped.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
