taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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