while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
