Don't you send me to vm
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
