You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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