The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I just had sex on a roof
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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