SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Sober January is a disaster.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
