Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
