if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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