"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
