i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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