If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize