Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
