I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
