No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
