Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
