Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
