what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
